Knowingo
The cover of The Courage to Be Disliked

The Courage to Be Disliked

Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga, 2013

Your past does not decide your life. Stop living for other people's approval, accept that some will dislike you, and find happiness in contributing to others.

Get the app Read on the web

12 parts, about 23 minutes to read.

Why read it

  • Presents a psychology that explains behavior by present goals rather than past causes, so past experience does not decide who you are
  • Teaches separating your tasks from other people's, so you stop seeking approval and can accept being disliked
  • Builds toward contribution to others as a source of happiness, through accepting yourself, unconditional confidence in others and living in the present moment

Who it is for

  • Readers who worry constantly about what others think
  • People stuck blaming their past or their boss
  • Readers who like philosophy told as a dialogue

What the summary covers

  1. A Simple World, Seen Through Dark Glasses1 min
  2. The First Night: Goals, Not Causes3 min
  3. A Lifestyle Chosen, and Chosen Again2 min
  4. The Second Night: Why You Dislike Yourself2 min
  5. Comrades, Not Competitors2 min
  6. The Third Night: The Desire for Recognition3 min
  7. Holding the Cards1 min
  8. The Fourth Night: Where the Center of the World Is3 min
  9. The Fifth Night: Acceptance, Confidence, Contribution2 min
  10. The Courage to Be Normal1 min
  11. Life as a Series of Moments2 min
  12. Giving Life a Meaning1 min

Recommended by

  • Marc AndreessenVenture capitalist, founder of Andreessen Horowitz
    Adlerian psychology meets Stoic philosophy in Socratic dialogue. Compelling from front to back. Highly recommend.
  • Andrew HubermanHost of Huberman Lab
    ‘I highly recommend it to everybody… a really interesting book’

About the authors

  • Ichiro KishimiJapanese philosopher and psychologist specializing in Adlerian psychology
    • Born in 1956 in Kyoto Prefecture, he left the doctoral program in letters at Kyoto University after completing the coursework, specializing in the history of Western ancient philosophy.
    • His specialty is Western classical philosophy, especially Plato, and he has studied Adlerian psychology alongside it since 1989.
    • He has worked on translation, writing and lecturing in both Adlerian psychology and Greek philosophy.
    • He served as a visiting lecturer in the Faculty of Letters at Nara Women's University, among other posts.
    • He is a certified counselor of the Japanese Society of Adlerian Psychology and has served as one of its advisors.
    • He wrote Introduction to Adlerian Psychology.
    • He translated Plato's Timaeus and Critias into Japanese.
    • A book he wrote with Fumitake Koga in 2013 sold over one million copies and made him a bestselling author.
  • Fumitake KogaJapanese writer and editor, coauthor of The Courage to Be Disliked
    • Born in 1973 in Fukuoka Prefecture, he worked at a publisher before going freelance as a writer in 1998.
    • A professional writer who has structured and written close to 100 books for other authors, including bestsellers.
    • He did the structuring and writing of Takafumi Horie's Zero, among about 90 books.
    • In 2015 he founded the company Batons to train and support writers and became its president.
    • He received the 2014 Business Book Grand Prix special jury prize for raising the standing of business book writers.

Read it alongside

  • Goes deeperFour Thousand Weeks

    Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga argue that life is complete at every moment, so one should do what one can now. Oliver Burkeman traces why we live for later: inherited ideas of time as a resource to use well turn each day into something to get through.

More books like this