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The cover of Friend & Foe

Friend & Foe

Adam Galinsky, Maurice Schweitzer

When should you cooperate and when should you compete, and how do you handle the shifting balance between the two?

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At a glance

Author
Adam Galinsky, Maurice Schweitzer

Why read it

  • You will understand where the tension between cooperation and competition comes from: scarce resources and our nature as social beings
  • You will notice that how you end one interaction or close a deal sets the stage for everything that follows
  • You will know when hierarchy helps a team and when it hurts, since the more human the task, the less it helps

Who it is for

  • A negotiator closing a deal with a partner you will see again
  • A manager balancing teamwork and competition inside a department
  • A newly promoted boss wondering how power changes relationships

Contents

  1. Introduction
  2. Striking the Right Balance
  3. It’s All Relative
  4. Making Sense of Our World: Why Expecting Fathers Gain Weight
  5. Similarity Matters
  6. Monkeys and the Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Social Comparisons
  7. Why Twins Reared Apart Can Be More Similar Than Twins Reared Together
  8. Doing Better and Feeling Worse: The Benefits of Graduating in a Recession
  9. Sputnik Moments and Halftime Scores: Behind by a Little, but Not for Long
  10. When Comparisons Go Wild
  11. Finding the Right Balance: How to Make Comparisons Work for Us
  12. It’s Good to Be the King…Until It Isn’t
  13. It’s All in Your Head
  14. Speeding Down the Highway with Samson’s Hair Blowing in the Wind
  15. How to Nail a Job Interview and Become the Boss
  16. Powerholics: Invincibility and Invisibility
  17. The Powerful Think They Are the Only Ones on the Highway
  18. The King’s Downfall
  19. Finding the Right Balance: How to Speed Without Crashing
  20. When Hierarchy Wins…And When It Loses
  21. The Rise of Hierarchy
  22. Why You Want to Play a Game with Your Boss Rather Than Your Best Friend
  23. When There Is Too Much Talent: Pecking Chickens and Squabbling Basketball Players
  24. When Hierarchy Hurts
  25. Finding the Right Balance: How Psychological Safety Helps Hierarchies Win Without Killing
  26. It’s Good to Be the Queen…But It’s Easier Being the King
  27. Men Aren’t from Mars and Women Aren’t from Venus
  28. Salaries and Sex
  29. The Double Bind
  30. Queen Bees: When Women Exclude Women
  31. Finding the Right Balance: It Takes a Village to Lean In Without Getting Pushed Back
  32. The Organization
  33. Making Ourselves Blind to Undo the Double Bind
  34. Lawyers, Mama Bears, and the Power of Advocating for “Us”
  35. How Names Can Bond and Bully
  36. Names as Cooperative Glue
  37. Why PhDs Want to Be Called Doctors
  38. Banning the Word Bossy and Why Philip Morris Became Altria
  39. Reappropriation: Turning Your Weakness into Your Strength
  40. Finding the Right Balance: Start Making Sense
  41. How to Get Others to Put Their Trust in You
  42. Smile and Get a Dog
  43. I’m Sorry for the Rain
  44. When It Pays to Drive Rather Than Fly
  45. “They Did What They Had to Do”
  46. When to Spill Your Coffee: The Hidden Strength in Vulnerability
  47. Why Happy Families Produce Terrorists
  48. Finding the Right Balance: Reputations and Relationships
  49. When and How to Raise Your Guard
  50. Deceptive Cuckoo Birds and Misleading Dating Profiles
  51. Why Cheating Is Like Chocolate Cake
  52. When Deception Builds Cooperation
  53. Going Up 96 Percent of the Time, Captain Mbote, and $57 Million in Cash
  54. Putting It All Together: Spotting Red Flags
  55. Red Flag #1: Inappropriate Behavior
  56. Red Flag #2: Running for the Exit
  57. Red Flag #3: Overcompensating
  58. Red Flag #4: Mismatch Between Words and Body Language
  59. Finding the Right Balance: Trust but Verify
  60. Putting the Pieces Back Together

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