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The cover of You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

Deborah Tannen

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The whole book, about 6 hours to read.

At a glance

Author
Deborah Tannen
Reading time
6 hours

Contents

  1. PREFACE
  2. ONE: Different Words, Different Worlds
  3. INTIMACY AND INDEPENDENCE
  4. ASYMMETRIES
  5. FRAMING
  6. THE MODERN FACE OF CHIVALRY
  7. THE PROTECTIVE FRAME
  8. DIFFERENT MEANS TO THE SAME END
  9. WHO’S DECEPTIVE?
  10. MIXED JUDGMENTS AND MISJUDGMENTS
  11. IN PURSUIT OF FREEDOM
  12. MALE-FEMALE CONVERSATION IS CROSS-CULTURAL COMMUNICATION
  13. IT BEGINS AT THE BEGINNING
  14. THE KEY Is UNDERSTANDING
  15. TWO: Asymmetries: Women and Men Talking at Cross-purposes
  16. “THEY’RE MY TROUBLES—NOT YOURS”
  17. “I’LL FIX IT FOR YOU”
  18. PARALLEL TRACKS
  19. MATCHING TROUBLES
  20. A DIFFERENT SYMMETRY
  21. “DON’T ASK”
  22. “I’LL FIX IT IF IT KILLS ME”
  23. “I’LL HELP YOU IF IT KILLS YOU”
  24. “TRUST ME”
  25. “BE NICE”
  26. OVERLAPPING MOTIVATIONS
  27. THE VIEW FROM A DIFFERENT MOUNTAIN
  28. THREE: “Put Down That Paper and Talk to Me!”: Rapport-talk and Report-talk
  29. RAPPORT-TALK AND REPORT-TALK
  30. PRIVATE SPEAKING: THE WORDY WOMAN AND THE MUTE MAN
  31. BEST FRIENDS
  32. “TALK TO ME!”
  33. WHAT TO DO WITH DOUBTS
  34. MAKING ADJUSTMENTS
  35. THE COMFORT OF HOME
  36. PUBLIC SPEAKING: THE T ALKA TIVE MAN AND THE SILENT WOMAN
  37. REPORT-TALK IN PRIVATE
  38. RAPPORT-TALK IN PUBLIC
  39. SPEAKING FOR THE TEAM
  40. AVOIDING MUTUAL BLAME
  41. FOUR: Gossip
  42. IN GOSSIP BEGINS FRIENDSHIP
  43. RAPPORT-TALK AS LAMENT
  44. SMALL TALK SERVES A BIG PURPOSE
  45. WHEN GOSSIP IS RUMOR
  46. THE USES OF GOSSIP
  47. GOSSIP AS SOCIAL CONTROL
  48. LETTING IT SHOW
  49. NEWS AS GOSSIP
  50. THE POWER OF DETAILS
  51. THE JOY OF INVOLVEMENT
  52. “SKIP THE DETAILS”
  53. MIXING BUSINESS WITH GOSSIP
  54. TALKING-ABOUT VERSUS TALKING-AGAINST
  55. WOMEN AND MEN ON THEIR OWN TERMS
  56. FIVE: “I’ll Explain It to You”: Lecturing and Listening
  57. FIRST ME, THEN ME
  58. IF YOU’VE GOT IT, FLAUNT ITOR HIDE IT
  59. A SUBTLE DEFERENCE
  60. IS ANYBODY LISTENING?

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