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The cover of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

Priya Parker, 2018

Priya Parker shows how purpose can shape invitations, hosting, participation, and endings. Her examples offer practical ways to help people connect at dinners, meetings, and ceremonies.

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9 parts, about 22 minutes to read.

Why read it

  • Learn to start with a purpose rather than a category, then test every invitation, agenda item and ritual against it
  • Learn generous authority, where a host protects guests, equalizes opportunity and connects them, and can explain whom each restriction serves
  • Plan a whole gathering, from invitation and arrival to temporary rules, an opening with an action or story, safe disagreement and a closing

Who it is for

  • Hosts of dinners, parties and celebrations who repeat familiar formats
  • Team leaders and facilitators running meetings, retreats or workshops
  • Organizers of conferences or community events who want guests to connect

What the summary covers

  1. The Art of Gathering1 min
  2. Begin with a purpose3 min
  3. Choose people and place deliberately3 min
  4. Use authority for guests2 min
  5. Build a temporary world3 min
  6. Prepare, welcome and open2 min
  7. Invite real participation3 min
  8. Give disagreement a safe form2 min
  9. Close and help people return3 min

Recommended by

  • Seth GodinAuthor and entrepreneur
    A long overdue and urgent manifesto.
  • Chris AndersonOwner and curator of TED
    Thank goodness for this book. It opens up new ways of thinking about wonderful gatherings with a delicious confection of smartly-defined concepts and detailed examples. Hosts of all kinds, this is a must-read!
  • Daniel H. PinkAuthor of When and Drive
    The Art of Gathering is one of the most transformative books I’ve read in years.
  • Sherry TurkleAuthor of Reclaiming Conversation and Alone Together
    This clear and engaging book sets down many things you thought you knew, until you find yourself remembering that you did not attend to its simple rules at the last significant event you hosted.… A passion for successful encounters enlivens every page.
  • Daniel L. ShapiroFounder of the Harvard International Negotiation Program
    A brilliant and eminently practical guide! The Art of Gathering will open your eyes to just how often we gather – and how we can turn those mundane events into dazzling opportunities for meaning, dreaming, and doing.
  • Joshua Cooper RamoAuthor of The Seventh Sense
    Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering is brilliant. The book is a timely reminder: It’s our human-to-human links that make the most meaningful moments of our lives.

About the author

  • Priya ParkerFacilitator and strategic advisor trained in conflict resolution
    • She was born in Zimbabwe to an Indian mother and an American father from the Midwest.
    • After her parents divorced she grew up moving between two very different families and worldviews.
    • At the University of Virginia she found conflict resolution through the mentorship of diplomat Harold Saunders.
    • She trained in conflict resolution and has worked on race relations on American campuses and on peace processes in the Arab world, southern Africa and India.
    • She studied organizational design at MIT, public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School and political and social thought at the University of Virginia.
    • She works with leaders, organizations and communities on consequential gatherings and difficult conversations.
    • Her second book, The Art of Fighting, asks what becomes possible when we engage conflict with more wisdom and generosity.
    • She lives with her family in Brooklyn, New York.

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