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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Lori Gottlieb, 2019

A therapist in crisis becomes a patient herself, and her sessions with Wendell unfold alongside four patients facing death, grief, loneliness and self sabotage, showing how people actually change.

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28 parts, about 36 minutes to read.

Why read it

  • Shows a therapist becoming a patient after a breakup, and the grief underneath it that she had been avoiding
  • Follows four of her patients, including a dying professor, a lonely older woman and a father hiding his son's death, through the therapy room
  • Explains ideas behind therapy, such as the difference between pain and suffering, repetition compulsion and ultimate concerns, through scenes rather than theory

Who it is for

  • Readers curious what really happens inside a therapist's office
  • People weighing whether to start therapy
  • Readers coping with grief, a breakup or fear of illness

What the summary covers

  1. The Presenting Problem2 min
  2. Julie’s Diagnosis2 min
  3. Finding Wendell2 min
  4. Rosie1 min
  5. Pain and Suffering1 min
  6. Welcome to Holland1 min
  7. Hold the Mayo2 min
  8. A Withheld Story1 min
  9. The Happiness Book2 min
  10. Julie and Rita2 min
  11. Charlotte and the Dude1 min
  12. Gabe, Unnamed1 min
  13. My Illness1 min
  14. Rita and Myron1 min
  15. Would You Rather2 min
  16. Ultimate Concerns1 min
  17. Gabe, Revealed2 min
  18. Integrity Versus Despair1 min
  19. What Not to Say1 min
  20. Letting Go1 min
  21. Charlotte Stays1 min
  22. Breaking Open1 min
  23. Julie’s Decline1 min
  24. Dear Myron1 min
  25. Rita’s Seventieth1 min
  26. Julie’s Goodbye1 min
  27. Happiness Is Sometimes1 min
  28. A Pause, Not a Period1 min

Recommended by

  • Irvin YalomProfessor emeritus of psychiatry at Stanford University
    I intended to read a chapter or two but ended up reading and relishing every word.
  • Susan CainAuthor of Quiet
    If you have even an ounce of interest in the therapeutic process, or in the conundrum of being human, you must read this book.
  • Katie CouricJournalist and television host
    Some people are great writers, and other people are great therapists. Lori Gottlieb is, astoundingly, both.
  • Arianna HuffingtonFounder and CEO of Thrive Global
    This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book.
  • Leslie JamisonEssayist and author of The Empathy Exams
    Gottlieb is an utterly compelling narrator: funny, probing, surprising, savvy, vulnerable.

About the author

  • Lori GottliebAmerican writer and psychotherapist
    • Born in Los Angeles in 1966.
    • She is a licensed marriage and family therapist.
    • In her twenties she worked as a film and television executive, then returned to Stanford for medical school; her first book was published while she was there, and she chose to write full time.
    • She studied clinical psychology at Pepperdine University and trained at the Wright Institute and the Maple Counseling Center.
    • She did her private practice internship under a Gottman certified couples therapist, and couples work later became a significant focus of her practice.
    • She became a contributing editor and weekly Dear Therapist columnist at The Atlantic.
    • Her TED Talk, which has over 7 million views, was one of the ten most watched of its year.
    • She writes The New York Times Ask the Therapist advice column and co hosts the Dear Therapists podcast.

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