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The cover of Between Parent and Child

Between Parent and Child

Haim G. Ginott, Alice Ginott

How can parents talk with children in a way that builds trust and cooperation instead of resentment?

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At a glance

Author
Haim G. Ginott, Alice Ginott

Why read it

  • You will stop lecturing and criticizing in moments when it only pushes your child away
  • You will be able to answer a child's feelings first, so your child feels understood
  • You will see why threats, bribes and sarcasm backfire, and how to guide a child who lies or takes things

Who it is for

  • A parent who yells and then regrets it
  • A mother or father whose child lies or takes things
  • A teacher wanting calmer ways to guide children

Contents

  1. Preface
  2. Introduction
  3. CHAPTER 1
  4. The Code of Communication: Parent-Child Conversations
  5. Children's Questions: The Hidden Meanings
  6. Fruitless Dialogues: Preaching and Criticizing Create Distance and Resentment
  7. Communication for Connection: Respond to Children's Feelings, Not Their Behavior
  8. Principles of Conversation: Understanding and Empathy
  9. Fish Swim, Birds Fly, and People Feel: Mixed Feelings and Mixed Messages
  10. Mirroring Emotions: Reflecting Children's Feelings Helps Them to Understand How They Feel
  11. CHAPTER 2
  12. The Power of Words: Better Ways to Encourage and Guide
  13. Isn't Praise Good for Children Anymore?
  14. Doing Something Well Does Not Turn You Into a Good Person
  15. Desirable and Undesirable Praise
  16. Learning the Process of Praise
  17. Providing Your Child with Guidance Rather Than Criticism
  18. When Things Go Wrong, Respond Rather Than React
  19. Abusive Adjectives Harm Our Children
  20. Congruent Communication: Have the Words Fit the Feelings
  21. Handling Our Own Anger
  22. Three Steps to Survival
  23. Responding to an Angry Child: The Method Is the Message
  24. Summary
  25. CHAPTER 3
  26. Self-defeating Patterns: There's No Right Way to Do a Wrong Thing
  27. Threats: Invitations to Misbehavior
  28. Bribes: Rethinking the “If-Then” Fallacy
  29. Promises: Why Unrealistic Expectations Cause Grief for Everyone
  30. Sarcasm: A Sound Barrier to Learning
  31. Authority Calls for Brevity: When Less Is More
  32. Authority Calls for Brevity and for Selective Silence
  33. A Policy on Lying: Learn How Not to Encourage Lying
  34. Dealing with Dishonesty: An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Ton of Investigation
  35. Stealing: Learning the Lessons of Ownership Takes Time and Patience
  36. Teaching Politeness Without Being Rude: Ways to Cultivate Manners
  37. Summary
  38. CHAPTER 4
  39. Responsibility: Transmitting Values Rather Than Demanding Compliance
  40. The Wellspring of Responsibility
  41. Desirable Goals and Daily Practices
  42. Long-term and Short-term Programs
  43. Healing Children's Emotional Wounds
  44. Building Relationships with Our Children
  45. Mirroring Children's Feelings
  46. Preventing “Grapes of Wrath”
  47. Stating Feelings and Thoughts Without Attacking
  48. Voice and Choice
  49. Food
  50. Clothes
  51. Homework
  52. Allowance: Learning the Meaning of Money
  53. The Care of Pets: A Joint Project in Providing Care
  54. Conflict Areas and Realms of Responsibility
  55. Music Lessons: Keeping Harmony at Home
  56. Parent-Teacher Conferences: Keeping a Focus on Helping the Child
  57. Friends and Playmates: Overseeing Your Child's Social World
  58. Fostering a Child's Independence
  59. CHAPTER 5
  60. Discipline: Finding Effective Alternatives to Punishment

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